Yin Yang

Did many of you see the "Epic 25" post that was pinned to the top of the blog for a few days?

You will notice that it's gone.

I was thinking today in the shower (the best thoughts happen here) that I've been playing a one - denominational character in my life and blogging. Sure, I love running, that's not going to change. But that's just one tiny part of my life. I have a husband, a job, a dream.

My Epic 25 list left out a big part of what I find joy in - my writing. I do that sometimes - I don't focus on the balence in life - I focus on one or the other. Running is not the end all of my life. But I've been focusing on it like it was. I bought into the whole theory that you have to do just one thing, and be super good at it. And if it's hard, then that means you should be doing it. Sure, blogging is writing - but not the writing I want to do. I love Young Adult Fantasy. That's what I want to do. There's a lot

I don't know about life. Do I want to be a teacher? Maybe. I know that I want to write. Without a doubt.
Blogging and social media has been like a band-aid for me. I can focus on that and feel okay, but not as good as sitting down and working on my novel.

There's a quote from Steal like an Artist that I keep thinking about. Austin Kleon is an amazing writer, and

you really should pick up his book (click on it for more info), but that aside - he talks about how you need to be one with all your desires. If you love yoga and taking pictures, do both. You don't have to focus on one or the other, in fact, if you do, you will feel lost. That's how I've been feeling lately.  Lost. Unsure. It's because I know what my passion is, but I'm not following it. Is it running a marathon? Eventually, yes! But my life needs to be a mixture of personal, creative, and professional goals. A yin yang of life.

To add another thought to that list, I got to thinking how much of that list was "me". I mean, how much of it was things my friends were doing that I thought it might be cool to do too? Don't get me wrong, peer pressure is sometimes good, but I need to live for me. I am in the process of discovering who I am (aren't we all?) and that's totally okay. A good friend (ahem, Megan) once pointed out to me that if I'm having a hard time focusing or doing something that supposed to be "fun" in my spare time, maybe I don't really like doing it. There is a time to push through barriers, but there is also a time to say "hey, if I have to force myself to do X every day for a year, when I'm supposed to just love doing it, maybe it's time to find a new love".

I love this goals sheet from Lulumon (link to the PDF file here). It reminds me that I need to work on all areas in my life. Not just running. Not just writing. Not just health. Everything. Yin and Yang.

What does this mean about my blog and twitter? Probably not much. I'll still be active on here, just maybe scale back a bit. :) I still plan to run Tinkerbell and Glass Slipper Challenge. Maybe not a marathon, but maybe. After all, I need to focus on writing too. I don't want running to be the cornerstone of my life. I want writing to be, with running added on.
I want to change the world with my writing - with my words. I'm scared to go there, though. You know, being a good writer is like winning the lottery. Blogging about running is "safe" for me.

I need to be brave and step out. Try something new. :) Some photography. Some art. Some beading. You know, I used to write stories when I was 4 or so? I have them packed somewhere. My first novel was written at 15. My play adaption of the Hobbit was bought at 16. Then I "grew up" and had some harsh criticism from someone I loved. I basically stopped working on things that I loved. Reading, writing, beading, crafts, all of it.

Totally leaving you with an awesome song. :)