Depression. sucks. I know it's stupid, and I used to laugh at the commercials that say "depression hurts" but dang. It physically. hurts!
I was chatting with a friend a couple of nights ago and realized - I haven't been running not because I'm lazy, but because I've been depressed. I mean, when it's hard to get out of bed in the morning, do you really want to go run?
I am registered for the Princess Half in Feb, as well as a 5k this month. I know running will help me emotionally so I need to try to work on it. I keep thinking (about the half) that I can't do it. But more then that, I have another thought in my head that tells me that if I don't try at all... that I'll be more depressed then ever. I mean hey, I'm numb, I cannot feel any emotions, but logically I know this is my DREAM RACE. I might fail. I might get picked up by the sweepers. But I need to at least try. Being sick for the past two months or so hasn't helped at all either.
... I feel so alone right now. Logically I know I'm not alone. Logically. I need to push myself to step out of my comfort zone and try to connect to people. Going for a six mile run tomorrow. Do or die. Or quite possibly both.
I've dealt with this before. The overwhelming depression, etc. I just need some help getting through this, ya know?
It's not Mental Health Awareness Week, but still a good reminder...
Sorry this post is so... down.
I'll try to post back about my six miler tomorrow night.
And I'll try to update just a tad more. Just a tad.